Last night as I was trying to wrap everything up and get to bed, I read a Facebook post that broke my heart. My husband’s cousin’s wife has cancer. Earlier, my sister-in-law told me her grandson, my great nephew, had to have surgery. And at work yesterday, my department manager told me that her daughter, who has a congenital liver condition, would not live a year without a liver transplant that she was unlikely to get, so she was going to try to be a live donor to her.
So much going wrong. Yesterday was a day of bad news. And all I can do for any of them is pray. Even though I’m here with my boss, I can’t help. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in prayer, and I have witnessed too many miracles to even entertain the idea that prayer doesn’t work. I know it does. But I ache to do more. More for them directly. I never see my relatives, and what do you say to your boss when she tells you her daughter is dying?
I’m a “Gimmie that and let me fix it!” person. When there is something wrong, that’s what I do, I fix it. And this is driving me nuts. The sad thing is, I have no idea what they could even begin to need. But I AM here, if nothing else.
Month:February 2012
Anywhere but Tomorrow, Anytime but Clutter
Wow, life has gotten BUSY! Computer work, work work, and the new business is booming. So much so that I have no time. Well, that’s not really true I guess. I would probably have more time, but there is this thing that I just cannot do. It is soooo totally foreign to me that it may as well be from another planet. I honestly believe it is a sin against my nature. Yes, as I have always claimed, my nemesis, the dreaded skill that defeats me: ORGANIZATION!!! If I am to succeed I must conquer this enormous mountain that stands in my way. I don’t have any new year’s resolutions. I have but one goal. I must master the skill of organization. As I do my research, I am finding that this is not one skill, but a skillset. So as I sigh in dismay, I find I have a bunch of little hills rather than one big mountain to tackle, which is probably supposed to make me feel like this is a little less daunting. If you have ever visited my house, you are probably trying to breath right now. I know laughter is good for the soul, but it isn’t supposed to choke you. Really, it isn’t. And while my inner cynic tells me this is most likely the biggest exercise in futility I have ever undertaken, (and I have ‘taken under’ quite a few) I will still give it my best shot… or pray to be shot by the time it’s all over. Pray for me… I’m going to need it.