Author:isengaurd

Finally!

Posted on Updated on by isengaurdCategories:Computers

After four years, I have my blog back. Yay me. I have the text and the content, but there is nothing like hosting your own and customizing it. And I had done much customization. Not just the background and pictures, but Google fonts, CSS changes, PHP changes, customization of the theme, just all kinds of things.

Then the lady hosting it closed her site in 2017. I could have migrated my site at that time, but I don’t check that email address very often. And when I went to make an update, it was gone. I still had her email address, and lucky for me, she had backed it up. She sent me the back up database. Unfortunately, that’s just the posts, pages and comments. All of my customization was gone. Honestly, I can rebuild that, and it was time to; I hadn’t changed the theme in 8 yrs. Right now, I’m just happy all of my content was saved. There are many things here that I have nowhere else.

If I have my own domain and hosting, what am I doing here, you ask? Well, it turns out my host doesn’t support the latest version of WordPress. Something to do with a PHP package extension, or some such. I’m going to open a ticket with my host and see if I can get it resolved. But, until then, here I am.

Glad to be back.

Greater Than its Parts

Posted on Updated on by isengaurdCategories:Life in General

So, I decided that my happiness was my responsibility a long time ago. I’m happy because I want to be, and I keep myself around people and environments that facilitate my desired state. That being said, it does not mean that others don’t contribute to said state. This week has been GLORIOUS! All but one child is here with me, the spouse also, work is going incredibly well, and I have become friends with some of the most thoughtful and generous souls. I have spent the entire week in fellowship. As far as contributions are concerned, my cup runneth over. I feel like I’m about to pop and spew happy everywhere. “HAPPY HERE, GET YA FREE HAPPY HERE! SNAG A HUG AND SOME HAPPY, GOT YA RIGHT HERE!” And because I’m happy to begin with, it just stacks. Like gaming stats or something. I am so thankful for the people around me. I want to share the joy and the love. So smiles everywhere, and favors galore. To those around me Thank you for being part of my happy 🙂

Reflections

Posted on Updated on by isengaurdCategories:Life in General

I’m a gadget person. Always have been. I love my technology and my doodads. The way one thing triggers another, moves another. I love all things mechanical, from engines to whimmydiddles. (yes that is a thing, Google). I bought a new gadget. I love the mechanics of it. I like the way it feels in my hand. I like its weight. Taking it apart and cleaning it and putting it back together again is therapeutic in its detail. I like its reliability, and take comfort in it.

I am a happy person. I’m easy going, and like to talk. I believe in the sanctity of life: that all life is precious. I’m pretty non confrontational. I would rather work things out than argue. I have never been in a fight, never struck another person in anger. I abhor violence with a visceral revulsion. A friend offered to teach me martial arts. I had to strike his hand so he could gauge my strength. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t even allow toy guns in my home.

I have a new gadget. Its singular purpose goes against every thing that I am. It’s the same gadget. How can one ‘thing’ evoke feelings of such dichotomy, fascination and repulsion, at the same time? I am struggling to reconcile the proximity of force with the new of the gadget. The security it offers with the lethal potential at my fingertips. And the new is starting to wear off. I wonder if I will wind up hating it. I hope not; it’s a wonder of modern engineering and precision. I am afraid of it. There is real fear in me when I handle it. Maybe that will wear off too. Fear is not something I’m used to feeling. I’m not a small person, but I have never needed to defend myself either. That being said, I do have a temper. One I keep under tight control. I haven’t lost my temper since I was 15. I will never lose it again. I can’t. Not now. Never again. I think… I think that what I may be afraid of is my own potential for violence. I am afraid that I will hurt someone, because I know that once I decide to do it, I will follow through. I’m not afraid of the gun, I’m afraid of myself.