Author:isengaurd

So, I’m applying for a job as a Technical Writer, something I have done throughout my careers. I had no idea that there was actually employment based on the skill, so I am pretty excited about this. The gentleman setting up the interview asked me for samples of said writing I had done, but unfortunately, all of that was proprietary. I didn’t even have a technically written memo. My sister suggested that I just whip something up. Like a batch of cookies. And while I am sure the recruiter would have enjoyed them, I don’t think they would have done much good on the job front. So I wrote a “procedure” about how to confirm calibration of a balance once per shift. Rather dry, but that’s technical writing. Sometimes. She suggested that I also do something like a user manual. You may have noticed that I have a fascination with the Acme Generic Hole made popular by Wile E. Coyote of Warner Bros. fame. This was the result.

Acme GH12000 & GH12000DX

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE

Congratulations on your purchase of your GH12000 or GH12000DX. Your purchase will soon have you all over your house coming up with new and novel uses you never before thought possible. We at Acme strive to provide quality products to creative and inventive people all over the world. We would love to hear about your uses for our products so that we can give feed back to our development laboratories. We hope you enjoy your new scientific equipment.

GETTING STARTED

CARTON CONTENTS

You should find the following items in your carton:

• 1. GH12000(DX)
• 2. This instruction Manual
• 3. GH12000C OR DXC (the cover for your new equipment)

The GH12000 ships with the cover on for safety reasons. This cover should remain in place until the GH12000 is to be used. Never leave an uncovered GH12000 unattended. Serious injury or death could occur. Please see the Safety and Liability Statement at the end of this manual before using your new product.

DIRECTIONS FOR FIRST USE

Remove your new GH12000(DX) from the cellophane wrapper, and take the time to familiarize yourself with the weight and feel of the GH12000 and its cover as a unit. In the center of the cover you should see the directional arrows indicating locked and unlocked positions.

While in the locked position, your GH12000 is inert and not active. This is the safest way to handle your product.

While holding the GH12000 with the cover facing you, you should have your hands at the “3 o’clock” and “9 o’clock” positions (the DX model has these positions clearly marked.) Place your GH12000 against and flat, vertical, horizontal or otherwise angled surface. For first use and to become familiar with using the product, we recommend a wall that has nothing on the other side. Your GH12000 should adhere easily.

GH12000DX only – Make sure the slider on the side of the GH12000DXC is in the “infinite” position.

With your hands in the above referenced positions, turn the cover counterclockwise to the unlocked position. Your product is now active. Gently remove the cover to reveal the face of your GH12000.

CAUTION: Some people have been known to become dizzy and experience severe vertigo when looking at an active GH12000 for long periods. Until you become used to the visual effects, we recommend placing the GH12000 at least four feet above the lowest surface or floor.

You may now place anything inside that you can fit through the face.

GH12000DX ONLY

To use the Through setting, make sure the cover is on and in the locked position, and mount the GH12000DX on a surface. Make sure you know what is on the other side of the surface. We do not recommend using the Through mode on any surface with a thickness greater than 4 feet. Move the side slider to the arrow with the line over it, and remove the cover. You may now pass items through the surface.

WARNING

THE GH12000 BASED PRODUCTS MAKE USE OF SINGULARITIES TO CONTROL TRANS-DIMENSIONAL WORMHOLES. SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH CAN OCCUR DUE TO IMPROPER OR MALICIOUS USE.

Acme Products Inc. cannot be held liable for injuries or death as a result of improper usage of our products. If you have questions or concerns about using our products, please call our usage hotline listed below. We have Dr. Sheldon Cooper standing by to answer you and make any recommendations concerning the use of our products.

Please check state and local regulations concerning objects traveling at faster than light speeds before using the through setting.

Do not install on a surface facing down unless the product is empty or you intend for the contents to fall directly below the product.

Do not use active product in large bodies of water. Rapid and severe drop in water level can occur.

If cover becomes lost, peel product from surface to deactivate. Product will become active again when placed on another surface. To prevent activation, we recommend you roll up the product and secure.

Please call 1-800-MISTAKE for technical assistance.

We hope you enjoy your new Acme Generic Hole.

Sooo, what do you do when you don’t feel like doing anything? Watch a movie? Meh. Read? Meh. Eat? Double meh. Not bored, no, just not anything. Nothing on TV sounds interesting. Tea sounds good but I don’t want to bother with making it. Bless my sister’s heart, she’s trying, but, again, meh. Maybe I’ll just crawl under the covers and act like one of her cats and hope I don’t feel so meh tomorrow.

Strange title, yes? Probably doesn’t make much sense to most people. But to a few of us, whether we really know it or not, it was, or possibly still is, a way of life. Ever met someone that seemed awkward and uncomfortable around other people? Someone that didn’t fit? Painfully shy, until you got to know them a bit? The kid in elementary school that was always picked on and never had any friends? What kind of teen were they? Loners, goths, nerds, geeks. There are lots of names for them. The kid never had any friends. Never dated anyone. Never had a boy/girl friend. What kind of adult are they? Quiet? Or too loud? Doesn’t socialize with anyone? A tad (or more) arrogant? Ever talk to that person? Earnestly? Or did he/she discourage it?
If you recognize a theme here, good for you. Wonder why it follows them? Read the title of the post.
As children, we learn to deal with others, developing social skills that will serve us the rest of our lives. In adulthood we surround ourselves with others like us; we create an environment with which we are familiar. One we are experts at controlling and with dealing, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant.
Bully, reject or dismiss someone disliked as a child and young adult and they know how to respond. Your attack or snub is rebuffed without effect. They expect to be disliked. It is familiar and they know how to deal with it. Complement them and you will watch a fish out of water.
And we bring our social environment on ourselves, for better or worse, because is is comfortable. People will seek out these positions and situations. They don’t like being out of their comfort zone. Through antagonization, self-depreciation and sometimes outright declaration, others know that they are not welcome inside the wall, and there is no intention or desire to tear it down.
It’s the Devil we know, and as much as we hate it, there is familiarity in your contempt.

On March 17, 1998 I was in Tennesee with my Mom; she was attending a funeral. Some thing wonderful was going on at home. Our cat, Marbles, had 3 kittens in our closet. Two males one female, one male orange tabby and the other two black and white, one male with long hair and the other two with short. Happy, healthy, playful kittens. A few months later Momma cat ran away and took her daughter with her. We had already given away the male tabby. Not intending to keep them, we had not named them. So we kept ‘the hairy kitten’ which was eventually shortened to “Hairy.” My sons were there to see the birth. They were 4, 5, and 8 years old. We welcomed Hairy as a part of our family. He liked to sleep in front of the sliding glass door. He absolutely loved my mom. She could not sit at the bar without a cat jumping up behind her. Other than that, he did not like to be held. He slept on the foot of our bed, and before joining us, made rounds checking on the boys every night.
We moved when Hairy was 3. The new house was much larger and Hairy enjoyed running the length of it during the midnight ‘crazies’ all cats demonstrate. We got him a window perch so he could look out the window at the birds and squirrells in the front yard. We bought a brush for him. Every morning my husband brushed the long soft fur. He was beautiful.
When my mom got cancer for a second time, she stayed with us while being treated. Hairy stayed with her. He either slept on her legs or beside her on the floor.
When my middle son, who was quiet, needed to talk, he talked to Hairy. Hairy listened and never told any of his secrets. He was just there for a lonely middle child.
Hairy got a bladder infection. We thought we might loose him. We took him to the Vet early on a Sunday. We were lucky. If we had waited, we would have. We took him home a day later.
My youngest son loved Hairy from day one. Hairy was a toy, a pillow, a security blanket.
Even my sons’ friends loved Hairy.
Hairy taught my sons love. He taught them compassion for those weaker than themselves. He taught them responsibility, even when it smells bad. And at last he taught us all mercy.
Hairy began to deteriorate after he spent a night outside and got into a fight with something much larger. There was a large puncture wound near his hip. We took him to the vet for treatment. He did fairly well for about 2 years after that. Slowly he began to loose control of himself. Sometimes he didn’t make it to the litter box. He lost weight. A large cat, Hairy weighed in at over 16 pounds. At last check, he weighed 7. Last week he began to vomit. My husband, Hairy’s chosen person, had taken him to the vet about his health a month or so before, but got no diagnosis, and testing was prohibited by expense. We tried antibiotics and steroids, but nothing helped. This last weekend proved that not only was he very sick, he was suffering. Unable to hold down food, what was already there went out at the same time everything else came up. He cried all night.
This morning at 8:30 am, we carried out the decision to let him go. He died peacefully, and did not suffer. My middle son, now 19, and I were with him.
Goodbye my friend.

Hairy Mahoney
March 17, 1998 – September 4, 2012