We’ve all heard the expressions ‘helping hands’ and ‘hands on.’ Both are usually more figurative than literal. But what when they mean exactly what they say? Helping hands. Hands that help. The hands that reach out and touch you, lift you, hold you. The warmth and strength is more than palpable. They transfer feelings of security, solidarity, well being and well wishes. Hands on. The nitty gritty down and dirty work that teaches you how. How to clean, how to build, how to fix. Hands on teaches the confidence to close your eyes and use your sense of touch. To use what we feel. To use our hands. When we use our hands, the potential for good or evil becomes real. The decision is ours. Do we help or hinder? With our hands. Our hands distinguish us from other primates. They make us human. Combined with emotion, they make us exceptional.
My husband had back surgery three days ago. The surgeon’s hands worked wonders in blood, flesh and bone. The pain and numbness in his legs and feet are gone, replaced by post-operative pain and stiffness. Right now he can’t bend. He can’t do much of anything at all without assistance. But he is getting better with the help of his family. The boys have taken on extra work around the house, while I play nurse. I am bathing my darling, and dressing him. Massaging out the cramps and spasms. Helping him sit and stand in order to keep from getting stiff. I arrange his cushions so he can rest. It isn’t easy. He weighs about 50 pounds more than I do. He helps as much as he can. And I am finding that this is probably the most rewarding activity in which I have had the privilege of participating in many years. The relief was evident on his face. I couldn’t do these things without using my hands. Helping, Hands ON.
Category:Family
A Presence on the Planet
This week includes 3 birthdays in my family. My oldest son’s, mine, and my youngest son’s. So close to another significant (to some) birthday, this is a very busy month for us. Makes me think about what we are actually celebrating – the anniversary of someone’s presence on the planet and in our lives.
I celebrate my birthday because I am thrilled to be alive. I don’t hide my age, i crow about it. I am 41 today. I spend the day thanking God that I was born, and for the people that I have had the privilege of being around. My sons’ birthdays I spend making them crazy – I like hugs and they don’t. 
I celebrate birthdays because I am thankful that the people in my life were born and for the enrichment they give to my life. I’m glad I got to meet you and to know you. Thanks for being on the planet. :party:
Missing a Boy
Well, my oldest son started college. I only have the two youngest at home now. The house feels not quite full. There is definitely a noticeable absence. We chat online still. But instead of looking at each other and laughing, there is only the “lol” in the chat window. The random hugs are not as welcomed by the younger two boys. No one randomly spouting off about a new awesome chip being released soon, no more various and sundry chunks of dismantled technology lying about. The youngest has transplanted his mess into the now vacant room. And I realize that when he comes home, it’s to visit, not live. I have an adult son living on campus. When he graduates, he will most likely have a job lined up. We will help him find a place to live, an move in. I doubt he will live at home again. The middle son has admirably stepped in as the oldest child in the house. He now does as asked without complaint or long delay. Now that he has a room to himself, its far cleaner and neater than he ever kept things when he was sharing a room. He wants his brother to come home because he is “tired of being the good kid already.” The grades are decent so far. And I hope they stay that way. He plans to stay home and go to the local university for teaching. He likes kids. The youngest hasn’t changed at all. Still demanding, still feeling disenfranchised, still wanting more than I feel he has earned. I guess it’s hard seeing your older siblings getting what you can’t have just because you are younger. But he is willing to work for just about anything, as long as he gets something out of it. Hubby? I think he misses the extra hand around the house. I have never been one for housework, and the oldest always helped him out. We all still set his place at the table even though he’s been gone for three weeks. His best friend who didn’t leave comes over to spend time with the other two. A surrogate of sorts I suppose, for all parties.
It’s been a month of changes, the last 30 days. I have started a new position at work in lieu of being laid off. I now work dayshift. Started the same week as college. So many major changes. I no longer have the me time on Friday mornings when no one is home. I no longer have nightcaps at the end of my day at seven AM. Who knows, I might actually get some sun (god forbid! I must protect my delicate moon tan.) I brag about my oldest’s accomplishments all the time. Lots of pride there. He is studying like crazy. Making friends is easy for him; he already has several new ones. Everyone says he takes after me. (head starts to swell) Major compliment to me there.
I know I have to let him go. I have never really held on tightly, but not having him in the house is just… hard. I’m as new at being a parent as he is being a child. The other two have the benefit of my experience. Not him. He’s my first try. I am waiting to see how well I did. His accomplishments will reveal my faults and strengths, the depth and accuracy of my judgment. They will be wholly his. I can’t wait to see him again. To hug him. Because when I do, I hold myself, my husband, and so much more than just a young man: I hold the physical incarnation of the love between myself and my spouse. When I hug my sons, I hold my life’s work, love, pride, joy, sorrow, and everything in between. I am proud of my son, and I miss him.
Out of the Mouths of Babes…
I showed the pictures Cass drew to represent me to my youngest son, age 14. His response? “Ummmm, yeah. A little less Tinkerbelle and a lot more G.I. Joe…”
Updates frantic
Wow! what a whirlwind month April turned out to be! Between children’s activities and work, sleep has been a bit on the slim side.
My oldest son won the Electronics Applications division of the Georgia state SkillsUSA Competition… for the third year running! Takes after his grandfather he does, just brilliant.
Thyroid medication has had a very mild effect on me, if any. No one has noticed any increase in irritability for the last 2 wks, and that’s as long as it should have lasted. Hmmm, that might not be a good thing…
Work has been oddly busy for some reason. We may even have to work this coming Friday night. I never have to work Fridays… but hey, I’ll take any overtime I can get. Then after we work a sixth day this week, they are laying us off for the first week of May. Lack of work they say… *scratches head* Go figure 😕
OMG I am sooo sore and bruised. One of my dearest friends works for an architectural firm. They just upgraded all of their displays to flat panel lcds. He let me know that there were 3 21″ CRT’s available if I would only come and get them. I was there in 2 mins flat. What I didn’t account for was how HEAVY these suckers are. The lightest one was over 50 lbs, so not too bad. But the others must have weighed in at nothing less than 80! And no hand holds!! 🙁 My hands sweat as it is so after the first one nearly sliding out of my grip, I tightened down with the hands. I kept having to push the things back up to my arms with my thighs. Now I have huge bruises on my legs and arms where the weight of these boulders was resting. But they are sooo crisp 😯 The display is just awesome. Photoshop never looked so good. Nothing like a professional grade monitor to make your pictures look incredible!
So I am off next week. I’m going to go visit my sister in Atlanta for a few days and then come home and work in the yard. I’ve let it go waaaaaay to long.
Oh yeah 🙂 Do check out the pictures on the Wandering Eyes page ^^ My sister took most of them and there are some great shots there.
My husbands 50th birthday is Monday 5/11. I want to do something for him, but I don’t think I have the money for a big shebang. Have to save up for the oldest boy to head to the SkillsUSA national competition. That’s not going to be cheap 😐 I need to think of ways to raise funds to send him as the local school board has refused to pay for anything. Have to see if I can find a corporate sponsor or something… Maybe the company I work for would be willing to help… Comment on this post if you have any Ideas.
Well that’s all that has happened lately. Its time for me to go to sleep.