The previous entry took me almost 4 days to write. My sister was assaulted by a man she trusted, one she had promised with whom to share her life. She is ok. Physically. He did far more damage mentally and emotionally. She had trust issues to begin with and was starting to work through them. I wonder now, if she will ever truly overcome them.
It takes me a long time to get mad, which isn’t fair. By the time I’ve turned the situation over in my head, several hours to days have passed by the time I decide that I am angry. There are no fits of rage, no temper tantrums, just cold, resolute anger. Hense the 4 days. It took me that long to comprehend my feelings, untangle the fury, analyse it, and express it. What it boiled down to was this:
I want him to understand and experience the fear my sister felt. The betrayal. The unknown. I want him to have no concept of existance other than this fear; no phyical feelings, no concept of time to wonder when it will be over, nothing else. To make him understand the helplessness, total absence of control, and the terror that comes with it. And I want him to feel that blind fear until his mind no longer exists. I DO NOT want him to die. I want him to live a very long life. Saturated by fear.
Category:Life in General
Self Explanitory
Ode de Spam
I love my g-mail account. Here’s why. I’m guessing that gmail provides the ads we see on various webpages that also send us email when we visit the sites. That’s why g-mail’s spam filter is soooo very excellent. Google already knows they are spam. That being said, I decided to paruse the spam cataogory and actually read some of the headers of the 100 odd spam messages relegated to email hell in the last few days. Now, I know my demographics are out there. I do. Google has them, Google tracks my searches and know what I’m interested in. I know this information is available – I’ve had spam messages about it – showing off how it will benefit my enterprise to be able to access this info. So, why, in the infinite wisdom of the internet, am I getting spam that has no relevance to me what-so-ever?
I am a mother of 3 living in the south, happily married for quite a long time, and stably employed. Here is a sample of what spammers think I might be interested in:
Gay singles in your area (San Francisco) Really? When did I move across the country?
Work at Home and make Thousands I work a full time job and have three sons in their late teens. What part of work do you think I don’t do already?
Enlargement tablets! FREE SAMPLES!!! Obviously they don’t understand the equipment part of female. I’m a MOTHER, remember? Now start talking upper body and you might just get my attention.
Adjust the behavior of your child by following our program. No thanks. I’ll stick to the methods that I was brought up with. They have worked well so far. Try sending me a message that says ‘How to get your teen to do his chores in 3 easy steps’ and then INCLUDE THEM!!! Not only will I click on that, if the steps work, I’ll visit your site and see what else you have.
Jeeez, you would think spammers would care about demographics. They might get better results.
Catch 22
Today is my 22nd wedding anniversary. I have been posting affirmations about my husband for the last week on facebook. I think he’s quite a catch! So, here are all the things i posted in one place!
Brian T. Mahoney, you asked me if I wanted coffee this morning before I got out of bed. “Oh God, that would be awesome!” I mumbled, and staggered up to get ready for work. You made me coffee and had it waiting for me when I was ready to leave. It was just after 7 am. You didnt have to be anywhere until 10. Thank you for a wonderful start to the day. 🙂
Brian T. Mahoney, you called me at work to let me know that you wouldn’t be home when I got there. Thank you for letting me know so that I wouldn’t worry *hugs*
Brian T. Mahoney, you take such good care of me 😀 From breakfast to to nightcaps. And I love it when you hug me and tell me the rain will return 😉
I love the passion with which you live Brian T. Mahoney. When you believe in something, you throw yourself into it heart and soul. It doesn’t matter if it’s a new business, a relationship, a class, a point of view. When you smile, you smile all over. When you laugh, your soul giggles. And when you are in awe, even your eyelashes tremble.
Brian T. Mahoney, you make it so easy to tell where your heart is. What comes first is always on your mind and evident in all that you do. We are with you always 🙂
It makes me feel good when I cook dinner on the weekends, and Brian T. Mahoney gets seconds. He’s a picky eater, so I know he likes what I cooked when he does that 🙂 A kiss when he gets up from the table says way more than a ‘thank you’ ever could ?
I want to go home and pester Brian T. Mahoney…
In all this heat, I keep thinking about this past winter. Best thing to snuggle with? Brian T. Mahoney.
I aggravate you to death wanting hugs. I send you all over town on your day off. I don’t do housework and I can be rather unpleasant when frustrated. Thanks for putting up with me and loving me anyway ? Brian T. Mahoney
You walk into the room and I look up. We make eye contact. Mutual smiles flash. As you continue on your way through the room, your hand brushes mine. Then you’re gone, on to whatever you’re doing at the other end of the house. Not a word was spoken; they weren’t needed, because Brian T. Mahoney, knows what making love really means.
Brian T. Mahoney, I am:
Blessed to be your wife
Honored to be your friend
Humbled by your confidence
In awe of your capabilities
…Enamored of your personality
And
Completely and totaly in love with you!!!
? ? ?
Not much going on as far as work goes, but lots to do around the house. It’s 103F outside so outside work is our of the question. But fishing isn’t. Who grabs fishing gear and 3 of 4 boys? Brian T. Mahoney. Yeah! That’s right! He’s not just a husband, he’s a *DAD*
Busy day at work, aggravating drive home. Walk in the door and there is Brian T. Mahoney. He sees the look on my face and smiles, promptly gets up and hugs me. Suddenly all is right with the world again. ?
I love you Brian T. I have no plans to stop any time soon. You are and always will be my AWESOME!!! :party: :fangirl:
Surprise! Up in Smoke
Me: C’mon, let’s go.
Hubby: Huh?
Me: Let’s go!
Hubby: Where? I just got home.
Me: Downtown. You need to change your shirt.
Hubby: What? Why? I don’t wanna go anywhere.
Me: Yes you do. Go change.
Hubby: (rolls eyes) No I don’t.
Me: Yes you do!
Hubby: Why do I want to go somewhere? (gets off couch to go change)
Me: Because I don’t want to go by myself.
Hubby: Hrrrrmph! (goes to change shirt)
We get in the truck and head downtown.
Hubby: Any place in particular you want to go ‘downtown?’
Me: 101A N. Patterson St. That particular enough for you?
Hubby: Oooooo kaaaaaaay. Why are we going all the way down there?
Me: There’s a new business that openned there that I want to check out.
Hubby: Oh, great. (NOT enthused at this point)
Me: You’ll like it.
Hubby: (looks at me sideways)
Me: You can park any where in here. It’s not far to walk.
We pull over and walk to the new business.
Hubby: What’s The Golden Leaf? (name of the business)
Me: Let’s go in. You’ll see.
Hubby: And I’ll like it. Right.
We got inside and he stopped in his tracks. The new establishment is a cigar, tobacco and pipe shop, where you can actually sit and smoke. The city has an ordinance that you can’t smoke in any public place, so this is really a find, since my hubby smokes. I want him to quit, but he enjoys smoking and doesn’t want to. So, I figure since you don’t inhale pipe or cigar smoke, maybe we can work out a compromise. He gets all the flavor, but cuts the health risks. He really liked the place and the proprietor, so we will definately go back. Wish me luck.
Wet Investments
So the city I live in had a water treatment facility failure. For most of Saturday, we had no water service. So not knowing how long the system would be down, I went to get water for toilets, drinking, dishes, sink baths, etc. I got up late and and found out the water had been out for about 12 hrs. Figuring the grocery stores, Sams, and Walmart would be sold out, I headed to Lowe’s. For drinking water you say? I say yes. I bought 30 gallons in six 5 gallon bottles, the kind you pick up and put on the dispensers. $85 down, but I had enough to last us the weekend. The city issued a boil water mandate. Later that evening the service came back on. And yeah the water was supposed to be discolored and smell of sulfur. We have a whole house filter and water softener system. I bypassed it and ran the spigot closest to the intake from the city for about 30 minutes. That got rid of all the debris in the line. Then I turned the water to the house back on. Come to find out that the filter I use is rated for crytosporidium. Soooooo. I have about 25 gallons of bottled water, and a filter system doing exactly what I bought it for. And on top of that, a reverse osmosis system for cooking. Water, water everywhere and all of it to drink… but I’m not thirsty.