Familiarity of Contempt

Strange title, yes? Probably doesn’t make much sense to most people. But to a few of us, whether we really know it or not, it was, or possibly still is, a way of life. Ever met someone that seemed awkward and uncomfortable around other people? Someone that didn’t fit? Painfully shy, until you got to know them a bit? The kid in elementary school that was always picked on and never had any friends? What kind of teen were they? Loners, goths, nerds, geeks. There are lots of names for them. The kid never had any friends. Never dated anyone. Never had a boy/girl friend. What kind of adult are they? Quiet? Or too loud? Doesn’t socialize with anyone? A tad (or more) arrogant? Ever talk to that person? Earnestly? Or did he/she discourage it?
If you recognize a theme here, good for you. Wonder why it follows them? Read the title of the post.
As children, we learn to deal with others, developing social skills that will serve us the rest of our lives. In adulthood we surround ourselves with others like us; we create an environment with which we are familiar. One we are experts at controlling and with dealing, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant.
Bully, reject or dismiss someone disliked as a child and young adult and they know how to respond. Your attack or snub is rebuffed without effect. They expect to be disliked. It is familiar and they know how to deal with it. Complement them and you will watch a fish out of water.
And we bring our social environment on ourselves, for better or worse, because is is comfortable. People will seek out these positions and situations. They don’t like being out of their comfort zone. Through antagonization, self-depreciation and sometimes outright declaration, others know that they are not welcome inside the wall, and there is no intention or desire to tear it down.
It’s the Devil we know, and as much as we hate it, there is familiarity in your contempt.