To Fight the Darkness

i wake to find
i cant clear my mind
of this compulsion for sex and alcohol
the only desires i can presently define.
my gentle lover holds me and tells me

“It wont last long.
The sunshine that outlines the shadows on your soul
will fade,
and the rain that you so desperately love
will return
to drown those shadows in puddles
that you can jump in
and laugh again.”

Exhale

my rock
my foundation
my physical salvation
u hear me
hold me
save me
lay me
love me
honor and cherish me
God made us one
to be never undone
let no man
tear asunder

darkness falling
but you are calling
me back to sanity
reality
family
love
home
self
hope

Good Morning

In the kitchen
Making Coffee
a little chilly
i’m cold natured…

his hand
the small of my back
so warm
on my cool skin

just in passing
a light touch
brushing my person
igniting my soul…

a silent explosion
in my chest
takes my breath
radiates to all of me

so much feeling
so light
so strong
so hard

so his.

Too Long

Alone forever is what she fears

Her face stained by red streaked tears.

Born in time when birth was sin

Abandoned by death again and again

Haunted by memories of the past

So long ago were these shadows cast

Dimmed by time’s eternal mist

Mortal wounds too many to list.

At first too young to understand

Her forced sacrifice to the land

But not accepted by the gods

And with her tribe was set at odds

From this rape was born a child

A little girl, ugly but mild

They lived in peace for many years

But they were found; what she most feared

Two women subject to gruesome slaughter

Thus she mourned her first daughter.

Then mad with grief did she wander

To and fro, here and yonder

She was killed and didn’t care

She came to know what was despair

Her sanity returned in time

In the arms of a hunter fine

He loved her youthfulness of face

And asked her many times of her race

But of this she couldn’t say

For all of them had passed away

Their language dead but spoken still

By a woman that cannot be killed.

Their descendents with willful pride

Founded a nation strong and wise

Her many sons by her fine hunter

Built great cities full of wonder

She observed through its formation

The forgotten mother of this great nation

And watched it crumble with chagrin

For it had rotted from within.

The world moved on but she stays the same

Nothing changes but her name

It becomes harder to disappear

And come back again without the fear

Of someone finding out what she is

And bringing attention she can’t forgive

As this is what had come to pass

She fell in love and gave at last

Her history to a smart fellow

Quiet, loving, kind and mellow

Who unraveled the reasons below

Her bloody tears and sought to know

With the knowledge that he did find

In what way to best serve mankind.

A man with no children of his own,

He made of her, seed to be grown

With the knowledge from her core

He gave them life and so much more.

Twin boys she bore 5 yrs apart

And then a daughter, to mend her heart.

A mother watches her children grow

But is alarmed because it’s too slow

But he takes her by the hand

And tells her that it’s all been planned

They will go to the best of schools

And be taught how to rule.

So she accepts her children’s leaving

Tries not to give in to hopeless grieving

She focuses on current events

The colonization and how it went.

And what happened when some returned

She sees her children, and is very concerned

While being trained to lead others

They have forgotten she is their mother.

Upon their return to planet Earth

They bring war to their place of birth

She finds that her husband dear

Has betrayed her out of fear

He explains what he has done

And she forgives out of love

Her little ones were up in space

To the benefit of the human race

The end result of such a war

The loss of life and so much more

She went out to find her kin

And never saw her husband again

He was killed in all the bombing

And once again she was filled with longing

For the death so long denied.

So many eons she had tried

To live like others of her race

Only to be slapped in the face

By time and circumstance.

She then took the chance

To fade into obscurity

Known only by the name, Ruby.

So much lived and so much lost

Surely too dear is this cost

For one soul to pay for life

When all she wants to do is die?

For many years she stays in seclusion

Warded against all intrusion

Feeling sorry for herself

She puts emotion on a shelf

But it creeps back into her mind

And one day she does find

Each thing struggles to keep its life

Though she is cursed, unable to die

She will rejoice with each sunrise

For she can walk underneath the light

Unlike the creatures of the night.

They come to her for sustenance

For they can drink without recompense.

For centuries the legend grows

Many have heard but very few know

But eventually it reaches ears

That vaguely remember rubied tears.

And a voice that soothed all hurt

Of a little boy when he was smeared with dirt

The words spoken that only they understood

From a tribe far to the north in ancient woods….